By "difficult to find", I mean that it is not easy to find in most
regions of the U.S., but does appear to be readily available in some
areas.
There are a couple reasons I am making this list: (1) to maybe
introduce people to a food they never knew existed, and (2) to selfishly
hope that someone takes it upon themselves to distribute/make/sell
these things closer to me!
Frozen Custard |
My dad used to know the location of every one of these in southeastern
Michigan (and some points beyond). He took us to one in Detroit quite
often. Why are they so hard to find? Frozen custard beats the
pants off frozen yogurt (to hell with fat-free!), and is about the only
thing that gives hand-scooped quality ice cream a run for its money.
I very recently discovered, much to my delight, there is a small place in downtown Portland that makes their own frozen custard. It's like a dream come true! |
Sorghum |
This is a southern thing, I believe. It is a syrup made from the plant (a grass, I think?) of the same name. You pronounce it "sore gum" or, better, "sore g'm". It is a bit like molasses, but with a bit more bitter taste. My gram gives it to us, mashed in with butter, to put on biscuits. |
Coney Islands |
What is it with the west coast and a lack of these things? It's bad
enough they don't have White Castles out here (something I am not including
in this list only because they are a fairly large chain, and a legend in
their own right). You can't walk down Lafayette in Detroit without getting
pulled into one of these by the overly enthusiastic street hawkers.
Occasionally, you might run across a "coney dog" -- a sad excuse indeed. The chili is thick and full of beans. The onions are in big chunks. Yuk. And good luck finding a loose burger, my personal favorite. |
Licorice |
Sure, everyone knows what licorice is -- or thinks they do. But
why is it so hard to find good licorice? I am talking about
the kind where you pull out a couple of teeth trying to bite through
it and it tastes like someone forgot to add sugar. Do I have to travel
to see the Pennsylvania Dutch to get some? However, none of that
salty Netherland licorice for me thanks -- too hardcore for even this
licorice lover!
P.S. Stop saying "black licorice," as it is redundant or even incorrect as licorice is dark brown. That red crap should be refered to by its real name: "fake fruit-flavored red crap." |
Cheap Korean Food |
Portland-specific gripe. Perhaps I was spoiled by the fact Ann Arbor has a Korean lunch counter per every 10,000 people. Where can a guy get a quick bowl of bee bim bop? This bento-on-every-corner fad has overshadowed the much-needed Korean dive (not to mention done injustice to real bento as well). |
Malts |
This is more of a technical complaint, although my own personal experience
has taught me that only about 1/3 of all places selling shakes actually
make malts as well -- potentially making this also a "rare" treat.
However, I have a problem with people who use the crummy syrup malt or are stingy with their malt. If you go to a Dairy Queen and ask for "extra" malt, not only is it going to cost you some absurd sur-charge, but you still are going to get about 1/10th of how much you want. Be liberal with the malt. I want to feel it crunch. |
Pasties |
You say "past-eez", no long-A or ahhh. These meals in a pieshell are staples in the U.P of Michigan, where some are known to be blessed by the good Father Marquette himself, during his early exploration of New France. Do not purchase if they contain less than two members of the tubor family. |
Latkes & Pierogies |
Maybe I was spoiled by Detroit's Polish neighborhoods, but
I really miss cheap deli lunch counters serving up a soggy plate of
onion-covered pierogies, or a pile of latkes with sour cream and
applesauce.
For the uninitiated, the former are noodles stuffed with something like cheesy mashed potatoes. The latter are potato pancakes with lots of onion. Also, if I knew how to spell "poonchkies" (found it: paczki), I would rant about missing those on Fat Tuesday! |